funny ones

Dragon_fury · Posted: 31 Oct 2008 01:39 pm Post subject: funny ones

tell me what one u like the best

1.An old man goes to his doctor and says "doctor" i think my wife is dead. doctor says "why would yo? think that? " well doctor, the sex is the same but the laundry is piling up.

2.A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night: 5% said it was to get a glass of water. 12% said it was to go to the bathroom. 83% said it was to go home. lol.

3.What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant

4.This guy walks into a supermarket & loads up his cart with one bar of soap, one toothbrush, one tube of toothpaste, one pint of milk, & a frozen tv dinner, serving size: one.
At the checkout counter,the checkout girl takes one look at the guy & says, "I bet you're single."
The guy says, "How can you tell?"
The girl says, "Cuz you're ugly."

5.Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea. Now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."

6.A man and a woman had an anniversary coming up, the woman wanted to do something special for the man for their anniversary. so she decided to go get a tattoo so she can show how much she loved him. so the woman goes to the shop and tells the tattoo artist i want a tattoo to prove that i love my man, so the artist says what do u want his name. she said no, i love him but i wuld never do that. so the artistsaid what do u want. she thought bout it, she i can get a tat of a nickname BB he calls me ''Big Beautiful''. the artist said where do u want it. she said on my butt i want one B on the left cheek and the other B on the right. she said i want it there so everytime we do it he will see big beautiful
so she got the tat and and went home. when she got home she told her man that she has a surprise for him for there anniversary. so he asked what is it. so she pulled down her pants and turned around and showed him the tat.
the man got angry and said so your telling me that your cheatin on me, she what are you talking bout
he said who the fuck is BOB

7.A blonde girl was walking on the side of the road with a big bag a guy walking stops and asks wat u got in the ? the blonde said some chickens the guy says if i can guess how many chickens u got in the bag can i have 1 the blonde says better yet if u can guess how many chickens i got in this bag ill give u both of them...

8.There was a black man, white man, chinese man, and a monkey. They all raped the same women. They all got caught and had to go to court. The judge asked all of them why did they rape the womem. The white said he was drunk. The black man said he dont know. The chinese man said he just felt like it and the monkey said monkey see monkey do monkey want some pussy too!

9.why did the blonde go to the post office 40 times in one day? because her computer kept telling her that she had mail... :-)

10.2 blondes walk into a bar the one says to the other dont worry i didnt see it either...

Jay · Posted: 31 Oct 2008 02:47 pm Post subject:

[b]lolloll Number 7...

Dragon_fury · Posted: 31 Oct 2008 02:47 pm Post subject:

Parasola · Posted: 31 Oct 2008 06:32 pm Post subject:

nice

fav is 7

Dragon_fury · Posted: 31 Oct 2008 06:35 pm Post subject:

NewPolution · Posted: 31 Oct 2008 09:31 pm Post subject:

5 haha

Dragon_fury · Posted: 31 Oct 2008 09:42 pm Post subject:

Cinemax · Posted: 01 Nov 2008 05:54 am Post subject:

lol # 7 has my vote as well haha.
7.A blonde girl was walking on the side of the road with a big bag a guy walking stops and asks wat u got in the ? the blonde said some chickens the guy says if i can guess how many chickens u got in the bag can i have 1 the blonde says better yet if u can guess how many chickens i got in this bag ill give u both of them...

JzHammer · Posted: 05 Mar 2009 03:13 pm Post subject:

2 Blondes walked into a bar and said "ow"

Mxracer190 · Posted: 05 Mar 2009 04:47 pm Post subject:

#3 rofl'd...lmao...cant stop laughing

joder · Posted: 10 Mar 2009 05:52 pm Post subject:

number 7 is nice one !!

haheha

anibalazo · Posted: 10 Mar 2009 05:53 pm Post subject:

DEsCon88 · Posted: 10 Mar 2009 06:55 pm Post subject:

joder · Posted: 12 Mar 2009 06:59 pm Post subject:

number 1 >

TomIIIII · Posted: 01 Apr 2009 04:15 pm Post subject: Re: funny ones

drunko · Posted: 02 May 2009 08:43 pm Post subject:

Bo$$ · Posted: 05 May 2009 04:24 am Post subject:

Schoolhacker · Posted: 06 May 2009 04:33 pm Post subject:

rofl number 5

joker24 · Posted: 07 May 2009 11:31 am Post subject:

i lold at most of them, but i think #1 is really funny. Keep Them Coming imo

V e n g e a n c e · Posted: 07 May 2009 11:36 am Post subject:

i liked number 6 the best, lol
my teacher thought it was preety great too