Some funny jokes I found

megafusion · Posted: 05 May 2009 04:38 am Post subject: Some funny jokes I found

Caught Speeding
1.Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

2. You've got mail

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL.

V e n g e a n c e · Posted: 05 May 2009 12:02 pm Post subject:

lol'd

Bo$$ · Posted: 06 May 2009 02:32 am Post subject:

old but good ones smile

trex · Posted: 07 May 2009 11:33 am Post subject:

Very clever...haha

Ok i got a kinda dumb joke but i find it funny!

There are two muffins in an oven and one says to the other, "Hey its getting kinda hot in here!"

The second muffin replys, "Holy shit a talking muffin!!"

joker24 · Posted: 07 May 2009 11:37 am Post subject:

i lold...# very funny..

trex · Posted: 07 May 2009 11:45 am Post subject:

Another great one is the blue elephant joke!

How do you kill a blue elephant?

with a blue elephant gun...

How do you kill a pink elephant?

strangle it till it turns blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun! briggrin

3D · Posted: 17 Jun 2009 05:43 pm Post subject:

clap clap clap