The Loochi Saga

[Dnote]

Loochi Fights a Hacked Druid

Sup guys. It's Loochi.

So today me and my man T' decided to test out our new found powers through all the hard time spent leveling up (we skipped school and work to get good at the game since we love it so much) - We made a game called 'Duel game' and waited to see who was brave enough to face our levels (I'm a 57 Barbarian while T was a 61 sorceress)

The moment you think you're a super power, the unthinkable happens =/ - a bloody level 80!! for gods sake joins the game. This guy was called KvK-zerOownge, he was a druid with a stupid ass red wolf like helm lmfao, made him look stupid but you know what they say.. "Looks can be tricky"

I rise up to him and hostile..

"Heh, so is it me first ahy? tongue.gif"
Enemy: Go n00b.

I run out and I see him cast animals and a what appears to be a fuckin hurricane. Did NOT want to go near that shit man, my instincts told me it would hurt if i went near perimises. So I decided to leap attack him (one of my special attacks) Just as I was about to make contact with my deadly jagged sythe, the bastard had the fuckin nerve to use hacks and used the sorceress skill 'teleport'

"WTF BRO!? NOT MAN ENOUGH TO TAKE A HIT IS THAT IT!? RATHER HACK AND USE OTHER PEOPLES SKILLS AHY FUCKIN ASIAN."
Enemy: LOL.. you serious bro?

T: "bro, go to open battle net if you're going to hack, otherwise we're goin to party up and send you back to where you come from.................. Infront of the stash cunt!"

Enemy: Kk, u 2 on me lolololol.

So we both allied and we both powered up to our max, I used my special grim ward skill to scare off his animals while we mustered enough talent and skill to power up to the ultimate beings. I receieved T's enchanting spellwhich gave me fire damge weilded to my syche, a strike of this burning heat will surely out blaze his teleporting hacks.

T wanted double the damage reduction so he stacked up on mana potions and put on manasheld

"T wtf u doin bro!? u usin mana potions in a duel?! so ur gonna slip to his level of hacking.."
T: "bro, this is hte only way. its like..10 vs 2 bro? he has 5 parrots, 5 snow leopards and a flying mask around him. not to mention a hurricane aura that would probably spin us out of proportion bra.."

"you're right bro, if he wants to use fire, i'll use fire. Enchant me again bro.. I don't want fire damage... no, I want lava damage" followed by a smirk

We both sprint down the bridge fully equiped and geared for what could be the fight of our lives. We catch this guy on the act.. he cheats again.. Not teleportng this time.. He's using a skill of mine! BATTLE ORDERS WTF!!..

"Bro, so you're using both of our skills huh faggot?! you're tryna make a mockery out of us ahy? we'll c"
Enemy: ? huh?

I ran with all my agility while T was casting blaze and running around like a fool and hoping that the trail would burn KvK in his tracks. I went rite up to him, he had no hurricane but this battle is fuckin tough. I'm fiting his minions, musta took about half an hour to wipe out one wolf but then realised that there was a pack of quill rats that were shooting at the wolf and killed it, it wasnt me. This frustrated me more.

T comes with his special move that takes up all of his mana in 1 blast, but proves deadly otherwise, the frozen orb.

"NOW T! FROZEN ORB!"
T: k.

His minions where sleeping with the fishes at this time, we both saw a clear path to get a deadly strike on this hacking jewish piece of shit. T shoots fireballs, and when it was all clear and done.

... 0 dmg? WTF? I had enough and I finally got enough mana back to do my leap attack but he blocked it. He casted his hurricane armour and we both died. 1 hit...

T was so angry that he dropped due to time. Gonna go visit him now to see if hes ok.


Guys, wtf do you do vs hackers like this!? Any tips?

thanks.

[Dnote]

Loochi Saves Battle.net

Sup guys, It's Loochi.

So today I was in a game helpin my homie J-Bomb get the horadric malus to imbue us something nice and juicy. Preferably a superiour avenger guard and hope it comes out to arreats face. To me, I don't mind about the ED of stuff. As long as I get the item all is good.

Before I walked into the monastary I recieved a urgent message from one of my friend on my list Elite_ringgrip requesting that I had to immediatly come join the game and help with tristram.

Loochi:"Sorry J-Bomb, we'll finish this quest as soon as I help Elite_ringgrip with tristram"
J-Bomb:"Damn bro, you should start charging people for all the help you're doing."
Loochi:"Nah man, it's my job. I like to put a smile on peoples faces. Thas all. Besides, once you get rich and high level like me and attain all the knowledge, it's good to pass it all on to the lil homies u no?" tongue.gif

So I entered the game 'Ube69' password 'torch' and I see Elite_ringgrip in the game by a red town portal?

Elite_ringgrip"Fuck bro, about time you came.. I need your help.."
Loochi:"Wat? Tristram? dude, isn't that shit in the cold plains?"
Elite_ringgrip"...no. Stoney field... Anyway, I need your help. I want you to do EXACTLY what i say bro. Serious this time.. ok!? don't do anythign out the ordinary.."
Loochi:"Don't worry man, I've got experience in this shit. I put the L in Leet" biggrin.gif
Elite_ringgrip: "..."

We went through the portal but something didn't seem right.. It was too quiet.. Almost TOO quiet.. As if we're being watched.
Elite_ringgrip:"Ok follow me."
Loochi:"LOL.. Dude? where the fuck you going? You off to get wirts leg or something? kk You do that and I'll go rescue cain"

*Loochi was been slain by diablo*

Elite_ringgrip: "YOU FUCKING MORON! WTF DID I FUCKIN JUST FUCKING SAY U FUCKIN DUMB FUCKING FAGGOT.."
Loochi: "Woah!? wtf?! Diablo!? .. wtf!? HIS BROTHERS ARE HERE TOO!? - WTF DID YOU CUNTS DO TO CAIN YOU FAGGOTS!"
Elite_ringgrip: "omg.."

As if we were doomed enough by the Lord of terror himself, he was accompained by his most trusted and only brothers. Baal, the lord of destruction and mephisto, the lord of hatred! - Things couldnt get worse... or could they!? There was a huge mass of monsters guarding by my body - There was no way I could get it back.. Only way was to make a deal with Larzuk and buy some armoury and be prepared for serious action. This is big boys toys now.

Loochi:"Shit Elite_ringgrip.. This is not happning.."
Elite_ringgrip: "..?"
Loochi:"Who ever told deckard cain and tyrael that the soul stones of diablo and mephisto was destroyed at the hellforge was jus a fuckin bloody lier to try get ist runes. Their soul stones aren't destroyed?! ALL THREE ARE HERE FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
Elite_ringgrip"lol. You're a fucking idiot."

Loochi: "Alright, I made this mess, now it's time to get us both out of this and shut the portal before Malah and the rest of Harrogath are doomed. Mortal men were not ment to witness the 3 prime evils at once. It's up to us"
Elite_ringgrip:"wow. I can't belive this shit.. You're so stupid.. And you ruined the place because it's over packed with minions. It's laggy as fuck and if we enter the portal we're most likely bound to die.. It's impossible now."
Loochi: "YEAH!? WELL HOW ABOUT WE FUCKIN TRY THE IMPOSSBILE? COZ THE POSSIBLE JUST AINT WORKING FOR US U FUCKN DUMB INDIAN!"
Elite_ringgrip: " Whatever faggot u lead. I'll put vigor on so we both run. U distract while I trap meph in."
Loochi:" You cant count on me man."

As soon as I entered the portal, the inevitable happend. I died with 1 hit from a skeleton mage. Elite_ringgrip howver, managed to trap mephisto in the house as he promised and made things abit easier for us. But not quite.. He died many many times. Horrible ways too.

Elite_ringgrip:"FUCK! YOU OW ME KEY SETS NOW DUMBASS. SHOULD HAVE NEVER MSGED U.."

We had no plan from this point, it seemed that we were doomed. But a true friend and a helpful ally signed on "Lil_T"

Loochi: "T! get your ass in here man, we need your assitance! no time to explain the situation but we need u here STAT!! uber69 / torch"
Lil_T:"yooo Loochi Looch' sup bra, I jus got back from a party man, im wasted XD - kk omw bro"
Elite_ringgrip: "wtf.. who's this.."

Elite_ringgrip got more pissed off because the fact that T joined the game made the game alot harder, but if anyone knew knowledge and secret strategies about this game. It's Lil T. I consider him a heroic friend and a true guru on D2. I wouldn't be where I am today. I would never label myself as godly if wasn't around to teach me.

Lil T: "Tristram in act 5? Another glitch Looch'?"
Loochi: "Looks like it man, but there's no time to try and figure out maintainance.. This is tough shit, and without my body. There's no way in hell we can win this."
Elite_ringgrip: "ROFLMFAO!"

Lil T powered up to his max, he put on frost armour and energy shield. He was the only one strong enough to go in there and look at the situation. The plan was for him to use static field on them and get them down to low life while I go get my body and use my leap attack on baal while Elite_Ringgrip uses smite on diablo to slap him around a bit (lol at smite? get a real skill atleast..)

T went in and we watched his life diminsh rapidly, I've never seen T get this damaged before except for that duel against that hacking druid. But to make things fair, T was a bit drunk from that party, so his ability to play musta been distorted, otherwise he woulda made light work out of these prime evils. I quickly managed to get my body but had to make a run for it. Those demon guards were in my way and there was nothign I coulda done. Diablo was right there in my site, a perfect hit that woulda ended all of this and saved tristram once and for all.. I failed..

Lil T: "Shit yo! My life's dropping so fast, I'm out of mana and life pots! ima go heal."
Loochi: "Never a dull moment huh T?"
Elite_Ringgrip: "lol noobs.."

As I ws heroicly fighting these demons, I see Lil T on my mini map heading south... TO WHERE MEPHISTO IS TRAPPED!?!? and I immediatly thought..

Loochi: "oh no... ..... ... T NO!! , COME BACK U FUCKIN DRUNK CUNT! You're going the wrong way!"
Lil T: "Nah man, this is the way to pepin. I'm jus gonna get healed and buy some pots"
Loochi: "PEPIN!? DUDE THIS ISN'T DIABLO 1, IT'S DIAB-"

*Lil T was slain by mephisto*

After this moment we heard mephisto's laugh and an aura of skeletons arouse. I had to run for it and enter the TP but i had to dodge some obstacles , so I ran around and more monsters were being summoned

Elite_ringgrip: "STOP running around u idiot! u'r making it worsE! it's laggy enough! ur only making it laggier and harder!!! omfg"

I was jus about to enter the portal but the lag spike was so huge, that in a blink of an eye, my elite barb was slain by baal's nova... Man kind has failed the world. If Griswald were to see the middle of trisram now, he'd turn in his grave. Elite tried to go in the portal, but after he wnt in. the game crashed.. We rejoined but after we entered again we crashed.. There was no way we can go back to that forsaken pitt.

Elite_ringgrip: " U MOTHER FUCKEr, REMOVE ME U FAGGOT. I'm GONNA KEY LOG UR GAY ACCOUNT AND SELL IT TO CHARSI U FUCKIN FAGGOT. U OW ME A KEY SET BY THIS SATURDAY U FUKIN BITCH."
Loochi: "Mate, show some respect. If it weren't for me and T in that game, there woulda been no lag and the 3 prime evils woulda came through that portal leaving nothing but chaos. I'll get your damn keys faggot."
Loochi: "Shit T, we need to get the keys!? how!?"
Lil_T:" e z bro, jus buy some off akara. You cna get sets of keys."

Loochi: "Once again T, I'm lost without ya" tongue.gif
Lil_T: "Vouch that, Now let me show you the secret cow level" tongue.gif

Loochi:" Ohhh no.. never a dull moment.."

[Dnote]

Loochi Owns Some Noobs

Sup guys. It's me Loochi.

So I was in this game called 'Torch for Torch' trying to get hold of a barbarian torch to boost my skills up by 3. I had an amazon torch for trade and there was an amazon in the game. What luck huh.

Loochi: Yo zon, u need zon torch?
Peo-tile: Yeah. I got barb. trade?
Loochi: Yeah bro.

So we're in the trade screen and this kid put his torch on and i put myne on also and we both ticked. but it wouldn't trade. I knew this fuckin canadian douche bag was tryna jack me. He told me trading charms doesn't work and we need to drop trade LOL!!!

Peo-tile: Bro we have to drop trade im telling u..
Loochi: Fuck up you dumb pansy. Eat canadian shit you stupid fag. u just want double the torches.
Peo-tile: F**k u noob
Loochi: ...? Noob? ROFL.

So i immediatly pushed space bar and hostiled this kid. He was so noob that he didnt have items on, just fanat aura from probly his hacked charms i bet. Brave kid gotta give him credit for that. Then this fag has the nerve to bring his shapeshifting druid friend into all this.

Loochi: Can't fight alone ay?
Loochi: /f m Yo G_Bomb , Lil-T . I need you guys in this game STAT. Some fag tryna hack my items and we gotta teach them a lesson
G_Bomb: Word bro. I'll bring my sin
Lil_T: I'll bring my sorc, I leveld her up more now. wink.gif

T and G both come in. Picture this. Me a 64 barb, G a 32 assassin with max fire blast and T, a staggering level 71 with telekenisis maxed out to push enemies around while i get a chance to leap attack vs 2 noobs. one lvl 75 an other 30. I guess we know who'll win here. Do the math? Our levels add up more.

All three of us went out of town and start causin havoc, shakin up the heavens with our powers. Me leaping around causing pot holes in the ground, G_Bomb throwing bombs everywere makin mushroom clouds from the huge explosions and T has enough mana to shoot frozen orb atleast three tiems before he has to run back to akara and meet us bck.

pussies laughed at us and said we're waste of time but who left?

When I say my barbarian will duel anyone, anywere. I fuckin mean it... And the crew will back me up if you try shit too.

[Dnote]

Loochi teaches some guy a lesson

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I was at this off the chain party last nite, slamming this chick three ways from sunday when I get a call from my home T about some noob who needed a ancients quest and he'd give us a magical item of our choice. Some kinda jeanie shit if you ask me. So I blew my load in her eyes and got into my escalade and drop 180mph back to my house.

I log on to D2 and join the game Cheesy/Lol and I see T waiting there with what seemed to be a noob assassin that was level 20 or so trying so hard to get to baal and a level 10 Barbarian who kept asking us to help him get the staff of kings.

Lil T: Sup bra, glad to have some uber assitance son.
Loochi: Don't mention it T, let's get this dyke lookin' sin's shit that he promised us and get the fuck up back to the party where I can slam some broads
Lil T: Haha, vouch that son.
Optimize: Yo Loochi, TP man.

Optimize saw the wrath of a barbarian, he noticed the evolution that I have entrapanured in this character class, taking hits like a football player that I am from those blow up guys and only gettin damaged 10 life per monster.

Optimize: WOW.. You're probably like, the toughest guy on bnet right? How much of those blow up guys can you handle?
Orgi_baba: Yo.. help do king staff please..
Loochi: Heh.. Shit, I take 200 blow up guys at once for fun son?
Optimize: Woaaah dude! that's insane biggrin.gif

About now T's all jealous and shit seein this noob payin respects so he starts talkin shit..

Lil T: Oh yeah? Well I can take about 600 if I put my mana shield on?
Optimize: REALLY?! You're better than Loochi!?
Loochi: ... Man the fuck up T?! Go on, take a hit from those blow up guys and show us what you got cunt.. Talkin' shit..

T runs up and casts mana shield on and overflods his belt with potions, he runs past 2 blow up guys and dies on the 3rd one. About now me and Optimize are laughin our asses off seein' T fail at his dramatic level. I was pissed at this time because T was intentionally talkin shit to look better than me, all that jealousy and envy that I never expected from T. I hostiled him and told him to meet me in the forgotten tower in act 1.. I was about to make T forgotten.

Lil T: Looch' bra I was jokin man please ally up back :S
Loochi: Man the fuck up T and get wats comin to y-
Orgi_baba: YOU FUCKIN LOSERS! DO THE STAFF OF KINGS FAGGOTS.
Loochi: ...? No the fuck you didn't...

I allied T and we both quickly ran into the maggot lair to catch this prick that thinks he's tough shit, he was about to get a leap attakc of his life time. Gonna make sure he ends up splattered jus like the faggot maggots in the lair. T is behind me teleporting once and running out of mana at each cast so he only did it about 3 times. We see this guy on the level 2 of maggot lair and i leap attack and got a direct hit. took a quarter of his life b4 he quit. Fukin ethiopian noob talkin shit while I'm around.

Lil T: Loochi we still mates bro.. I'm so sorry, dono wat came over me..
Loochi: Put your money where your smelly canadian mouth is next time u tree hugging douche bag.. All good man,. you're ma homie.
Lil T: Yeah bro, you're toughest cunt here man and on bnet.
Optimize: Hard bro.

We killed the ancients for Optimize and he dropped due to time and never returned. It's been 3 days and we still in the game waiting for him to return with out enchanted good.

Let's recap the success stories for tonight.

- I slammed a broad and busted on her eye giving her conjuctivitis
- Got respect from a noob
- Taught T a valuable lesson and his respect grew more for me
- Took 1/4 life of a level 10 barb with leap attack
- Waiting on my reward from Optimize

You guys admirin?

[Dnote]

Larzuk Swindles DayDay

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So me and my homie DayDay were waggin' nuclear physics class (Scholarship) to look for some fine young hot babes to bang and impregnate and leave them single mothers and passin on the gene's to the next generation. We were walkin' down the street and we see an internet cafe. This was my chance to show DayDay my godly items that I have found over the past month of bish bosh runs (Dying 3/10 times to him tryna find items and losin xp was so worth the shit that I found.)

DayDay seemed pretty confident about some inferno boots that he found from the bloody foothills so I wanted to see if he can put the money where his mouth is. We walk into this place and all we saw was a bunch of nerds and asian managers running it. Typical. I chew my gum and have my aviators on and my t shirts about to rip for the my bulging biceps. I come over to some geek on the computer and hit the ALT+F4 button while he was playing counter strike.

Loochi: What up nerd? Game's over, get the hell off and let me hop on. Hit the road son?
Geek guy: What the fuck bro? What the hell did you do that for..
Loochi: Listen up 'Nsync' .. I came here to play some diablo two, and I ain't gonna let a pussy power puff with glasses try to tell me why I did something that I totally believe was morally right. GTFO.
Geek guy: Who the fuck you think you are? Go pay and wait for me to finish you rude behemoth..
Loochi: Alright 'Timberlake', I'ma say this one more time and once only. Get the fuck off or we'll knock you the fuck off. Feel me? *Chews bubble gum and takes off aviators*

This freak knew we meant business so he limped out the door crying on his cell phone to his mom. Me and DayDay couldn't stop laughin. We log in and make game and we get into tradescreen and start showin off. Both equally godly in item wise. But I bet I'd whip his ass if I used leap attack. He was a sacrifice paladin. Good build too.

DayDay: Yo Looch'. Like my infernostride boots? they are awesome man. Yo help me kill that shenk dude so we get the socket quest
Loochi: Shit son, ofcourse. Let me get Lil T and G_Bomb into this bitch and get shit rollin.

T and G both come in and ally. The dream team. Nothing can stop us now. We open up the gates that make Harrogath anti-social from the whole game and we set off to find this overseer. We each assigned ourselves a mission. Lil T had to disarm the catapul mechanisms inorder to save us a funeral while G_Bomb had to throw fireblasts at the foe's and help the ally barbarians. We thought if we lended them a hand, they'd help us against the fight. My mission was to leap attack on the Overseer and hope to hit a crushin blow on him (we heard he had some boys surroundhing him coz he expected us coming and as a pussy would do, they'd call their boys.. typical shit.) DayDay's job was to protect me and sacrifice himself if a monster was coming.

Lil_T: Shit yo, I need another skill. Frozen orb will probably kill anyone or anything in 1 hit but.. The mana it consumes is crazy.. Plus 1 hit from a monster I lose all my mana coz of ES.
G_Bomb: I got a huge army behind me yo.. up to guys now.
Loochi: Dayday, make sure u stick to this side coz too many monsters on the otherside ok? Whatever u do dnt go to the right side... we're on low health and we run out of stamina potions. Have to walk there son..
DayDay: U gotcha bra. all gravy

This is ANOTHER glitch in the game that pissed us off. Dayday was defending me, and as he was struck by a monster, a blaze came out of him. DayDay was freakin the fuck out

DayDay: OHHHH SHITTT SON!!!!

He ran around like a lunatic bringing in all types of monsters from the otherside and got us killed.. That shit pissed me off, I was ready to knock him the fuck out in real life. Then suddenly, one of the managers came up to me

Asian manager: Excuse sir, did you pay to play on our services?
Loochi: Excuse me ching chong, but if u haven't noticed, your face wasn't meant to handle my biceps?

About now asian guy's all scared and mumbling something about the police under his breath.

After 2 long hours and repitive deaths, we killed shenk and walked all the way back to town (didnt realise there was a way point up ahead) we get there all exhausted BUT! victorious.. Larzuk was stoked about this and granted us 1 socket q. We were all so wasted..

G_Bomb: Yo DayDay, wat you gonna socket?
DayDay: My tarn helm and put a topaz in it for more magic find to find items man.

This part here ruined DayDay's life. He was so tired that instead of going to socket, he went to the repair screen and put his tarnhelm and sold it to larzuk. About now DayDay has tears in his eyes and It was everything in me not to laugh. T and G both laughed histerically and he was swearing at us and threatin the net cafe with a bomb. Police were informed and the cuffed his ass and took him to the station. He was diagnosed with mentalness and is in an mental institute. Me and the boys are jokin about it right now, hollerin and shit. All that hard work and long hours and then sold to the merchant in an instant second

Needless to say, I'm never going to take this game as serious as some of y'all do. I don't wind up in a mental institute, hell the fuck no.

Police started to intergate me about harassin some freak to get of the computer and how I treated the managers with disrespect, i jus kept a smirk on and talked shit, no evidence on me? U cant do shit to me son.

Officer: ... ur off this time Looch', let us catch u again and ull wind up in the cells.
Loochi: heh, yeah rite. that's wat u told me last time after i banged ur wife and made taht mistake of a child

Officers held him back from attackin me while i walked up with a grinn on my face. Today was worth it.

[Dnote]

Loochi Learns to Dupe.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So today my main man T figured out a new duping method that allowed us to make tones of items and help us get rich, all the shit you can think of.. Manald heals, nozkon ammies, lenymo sash, Ali baba blades with p skulls. We were makin masses with these items and selling them for currency. In return for this method, we helped T get his godly items. Tal Rasha's full setup. T hada glow to him that know 1 has witness. A true super saiyen. I didn't even wanna upset him. Only God knows his frozen orb damage now..

Blizzard detected this hack and immediatly tracked down our IP addresses. We got sent warning messages

<Blizzard> : If you continue to violate the code of conduct of our server, we shall ring the police. We have tracked down your IP address.
Lil T: Shit son.. Did you get that msg?? I don't wanna get my account hacked. I just got super godly.
Loochi: Yeah T, I got that too.. Let me handle this. I'll play it off cool and apologise for us.
Lil T: Alright sounds good, I mean we duped enough. That'll do it.
Loochi: / w *Blizzard Admin: Oi, you fuckin low life freak. We gonna dupe all the shit we find and sell that shit over eebay, fuck you and the po-leece nigga. What you gonna do?? TP pk us?
<Blizzard> : You have chosen your destiny. Our reply will come soon.

So the next day I was chillin' at T's house lookin through his window with his binoculars at some fly ass chick gettin changed, gotta love these broads in the neighborhood. Suddenly, the unthinkable happend.. T's front door got kicked down by a whole fuckin swat team raided the area lookin for us. T screamed like a bitch and started crying and begging for forgiveness, he was running around the house with his wrists flayling in the air like a lil girl.. I'm definitly gonna knock T the fuck out for bein a pussy after this shit.

Police with shields and bats come runnin up the stairs to were I am and busted down the door, all after me and shit.

Squad: There's the target!
Loochi: Bring it on you fuckin pigs..

I was thrown elbows and upper cuts on these fuckin pussies, they couldn't get enough of my strong ass, girl that I was perving on saw wat was happenin, you can definitly tell she was having an orgasim over this bad boy shit that i pulled off. Finally, the pussy police jumped on top of me and put about 4 handcuffs on me jus to settle me down and took me to the station for further questioning

Detective: Alright LKAD (my homies nick named me LKAD back in '03) - How the fuck did you and your homie find this hack?
Loochi: *silent but with a smerk on his face*

These pussies screamin and shoutin at me tryna freak me out, I ain't even breakin a sweat.. Went to court for it too, what a jip. T blamed it all on me. I knew deep down he was a pussy. All I'ma do is sell those items on eebay have the paypa stacked to the ceilin. Gonna go level up in the flayer jungle now.. PM me if you want anything for sale.

Will take care of T later..

[Dnote]

Loochi VS Mephisto

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

It was a maginificant start to my day, I get out of bed at 7 AM and I watch the sun rise. Admiring all of God's beautiful creations and thanking him for the perfect life that I live. I look back to my bed and I see the three bitchs that I fucked in the ass last night and I'm about ready to tell them to get the hell out of my house.

Loochi: AY YO! YOU THREE SLUT, GTFO MY HOUSE!
Blonde: Wtf.. Last night you were SUCH a gentleman..
Loochi: Let's just say, your services are no longer needed tramp wink.gif - Best get going, I'm goin to the internet cafe to meet the crew and we're gonna do some serious Mephisto runs to find items til the mothafuckin cows come home.
Brunette: What's a memphis run?
Black Bitch: Shit, I think it's that icream memphis meltdown? Him and his fatass crew gonna eat tones of that shit til the something about cows.
Loochi: Alright, that does it. If you were a dude, right about now u'd feel the wrath of my biceps.. But since you're a female, I'll use my manners..

So about now I picked each one by one and threw them out the 3rd story window. Heard a big snap after I threw the black bitch, musta broke her neck or some shit coz she wasnt moving and her friends were cryin like a typical bitch. Reminds me of when I smash T. Same sound same drama.

Dad comes back from his 2 day meeting to come tell me that he's going to asia for the weekend for an important press conference

Dad: Loochi, I need you to stay in the house for teh weekend. NO GOING OUT. Understood?
Loochi: *Listenin to his ipod and nodding his head* Sure thing sissy, I'm off to the net cafe wit the crew. Be back in three days
Dad: Wtf?!
Loochi: ? Wipe that fuckin look of your face cunt. Remember who threw you out the window the otherday? This time its gonna be off the roof u fuckin pansy arab.

About now his jaw's dropped, I went right up to him while chewin my bubble gum and my aviators on and I reached into his pocket and grabbed his wallet. Took his 2 platinum cards, 1000$ cash and keys to the bentley. The cash will be useful incase we didn't find any rare items from mephisto. Heard alot of good shit about that *** site. Drove off to meet my crew

We meet up and go in there, all of us hook on to a comp - pussies in the cafe no how notorious I am so they let me in for free, Full masage by asian bitchs and the whole other shit. I was livin like a king. Jus needed a crown.
We get to the durance of hate. There's 5 of us. Lil T, Kuzin K (My cousin) , G_Bomb, D Baby (Lil T's cousin) we all had our own specific class. No body can mess with us now, we have all the elements we needed. Kuzin K was the master of necromancy, he used bone prison on our enemies while I leap attacked and T spammed frost nova incase any fool decided to set foot in the perimeter.

We get to mephisto, lord of the skinny ass skeleton pussies. We were all equiped with antidote potions incase he did his poison on us. (No gas masks in this game son) we all went to attack him and all he did was 1 charged bolt, took us down 3/4 of our lives! What a fuckin overpowered boss?? What is this shit!? Hell mode?

Loochi: Back up u fuckin pussies, we're goin down. 1 more hit and we out.

As I was running to the enterance, a fucking ghost attacked me and killed me?! Musta lost about 1,000 experience, damn pissed by now, golds on the floor and shit. Didn't want no body touchin my shit. Crew was laughin an shit at ghosts attackin me. Then next minute, Kuzin K runs into the council member. One zap and he was out. His whole army he worked so hard for died along with him. He summoned about 6 skeletoes. an iron golem a mercenary from act 1 too. Can't imagine bein a necro.. Waste of time if you died with that much shit. Lil T and G_Bomb try to run to the red portal and travel to the heavens when suddenly, G_Bomb gets hit with an electric ball that fucked his shit up faster than you can say pwned. 3 of us down and only 2 to go. Mephisto was overpowered so they had to make an escape to the red portal. They shuda used a tp scroll but their whole inventory was packed with keys ncase a locked chest was to be around. T teleported to the portal and escaped like a bitch that he is and left his homie to die to mephisto

D Baby: Alright meph', I might not be as tough as you, But I'm more cunning.

D Baby set a decoy infront of meph and a valkyrie while he was waitin for the bridge to appear, a fuckin ghost killed him. T's all crackin up and shit bout how we all died, so we hopped off our comps and smashed his ass. All of us picked him up and put him in the dumpster with some homless homo for a gay intimate nite.

We went back n and discussed if we should try mephisto runs in nightmare or hell now since we tried normal.

[Dnote]

Gheed Swindles Loochi.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I'm chillin with Kuzin K's new friend Glitch_Data who was an expert at this game. Flawless tactics when it came to dueling and perfection when it came to items. He looked stupid. A flail wielding sin doesn't look right. But like they say. "Never judge a book by its cover".

Loochi: Yo Glitch, How come sometimes it says SOJS have been sold to merchants?
Glitch_Data: If enough sojs have been sold to the merchants, Diablo will be born in the earth and stronger than ever, if you kill him. A unique small charm that gives a one to skills, stats, resis and extra experience from monsters.

About now me and Kuzin K's jaw dropped from the shit we just heard.. Never before we seen this charm and we wanted it. Willing to do anything to get our mouse cursor over it.. By any means necessary.

Loochi: I see I see.. So, dude. I kinda wanna rush Kuzin K with my barb but i need mana. Mind if you lend me a soj??
Glitch_Data: How about I lend a perfect Insight? Level 17 med' can reall ma-
Loochi: Oh FFS... Dude, wouldn't I have asked for a damn ensyche if I wanted to?? I DON'T NEED THAT SHIT.. I need a soj. more skills too.. biggrin.gif:D
Kuzin K: Better pass some over these ways too son. We both need.
Glitch_Data: So let me get this straight.. Your 66 leap barb needs sojs TO RUSH a level 44 necromancer with exploding potions...
Loochi & Kuzin K: ? ... Pretty much.

We finally convinced Glitch_Data to give us the sojs, 2 each. He gave us a warning before he had to go to jazz practise. (lol.. what a sissy.)

Glitch_Data: Guys please. What ever you do. DON'T TRADE THOSE SOJS.. My big bro found them all and he's comin out of prison 2moro.
Loochi: Relax B?! You actin like we're nithilak or some shit. Gtfo of here. I'ma rush this fool.
Kuzin K: Word.

As soon as Glitch left the game, an idea that was in my mind all the time came to words.

Loochi: Yo Kuz, you thinkin wat im thinkin?
Kuzin K: Fuck yeah, Let's trade these for perfect gems.
Loochi: ..
Kuzin K: ??
Loochi: Let's sell this shit to the merchants bro.. If that theory is true, we can get FOUR annis.. sell 2 for gfg shit, and some sojs, pay that bitch nigga back and keep two our selves and with what ever's left over? We'll be the richest on bnet
Kuzin K: Ahhh. gfg? Never thought of that.. You truely are the mastermind of this game Looch'. But ONE issue.. How we gonna kill this super Diablo??
Loochi: Heh.. That's your problem kuzin k? you always think the negative. I got that shit figured out.. I msged our home boy D Baby. His amazon has decoy. We'll set that up infront of diablo, i'll leap attack, you use confuse curse so he's all drunk like and shit and that's it? It's like takin candy from a baby.
Kuzin K: Glad you're my cousin man.

So we brang D Baby in the game and got him ready and set.

Loochi: Here we go...
* 1435 SOJS have been sold to merchants *
Kuzin K: OH SHIT SOn... ITS WORKING!
Loochi: Let's feed this bitchs hunger. Keep selling. Sell all your shit to him bro, your armour, shit in stash. Everything. D Baby you do the same.

We waited 3 hours and sold everything we ever owned to Gheed, Diablo has yet to show him self.. And to make matters worse Glitch_Data arrived!!! Not a good combination..

Glitch_Data: Sup guys, my brother insists that I get my sojs back otherwise he's gonna put me in the hospital.
Loochi: Oh yeah? What ward you gnna be in?
Glitch_Data: Huh!? Dude we're my sojs? And why are you guys naked?
D Baby: We sold your sojs and everything we had to bring him out and sell 4 annis to get richer and pay you back. A mastermind plan that went wrong.
Glitch_Data: .... you serious loochi?
Loochi: Shit son... Would I joke about selling my bonesnap with ral in it??
Glitch_Data: YOU FUCKIN MORON... I FUCKIN TOLD YOU AND FAGGOT KUZIN K TO NOT SELL THOSE SOJS. TF IS WRONG WIT U!? Omfg... This is normal!? YOU NEED HELL FUCKIN FAGGOT..
Loochi: Lol. You mad son??

After this Glitch removed us and never spoke to us again. We basically got scammed by blizzard about this myth of annihlius. All of our items are gone. Might hit up G_Bomb and Lil T for some shit but..

Any donations??

[Dnote]

Loochi's 08 items.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I woke up to an awesome blow job from this model chick that I was banging, as usual, threw her ass out the window and got prepared for a non stop Diablo2 escapade.

I log on to my sweet ass account and see some nerds fighting over the channel about who's a better dueler. I immediatly think. "Heh, E Z P K." And I look through the game list and I find one I like. "Bring 08 items".

ya-jaaa: Sup man. You got?
Loochi: Yep.
ya-jaaa: Thank the lord man! I've basically been waiting all day and know joined.. What items you got?
Loochi: No body joined this game?? Shit son, I woulda thought it would be packed up by now? All my stuff is 08?
ya-jaaa: Wow! Show show show!

So we get into the trade screen and this is where the misunderstanding and nk'ing took place..

Loochi: Alright, I'll put up all my items and give a brief summary of them
ya-jaaa: hah sweet.
Loochi: This is my imbued syche from charsi, I got it a few weeks ago because Gheed jacked me when I tried to sell all my items to him for anni charm
ya-jaaa: ..?
Loochi: This is my tarn helm that I stole from a friend xfering. Got this about july 08. one of my favourite items I'd say. Won't give it up that e z. You'll have to give godly or bonesnap with eld to get this son.
ya-jaaa: wtf..
Loochi: These gloves I bought in nitemare from farah. I know they are white and non magic but they hold tremendous defence against pussies in duels. I got this in June 08, I actually think I ha-
ya-jaaa: ... fuck you leave the game
Loochi: woah? what's your prob sissy?
ya-jaaa: I don't want items from 2008 you fuckin moron. I want 1.08 items.. version 1.08. get it nuub?
Loochi: Nuub? LOL.. Makes me laugh everytime someone says that about ME.. 1.08?? Son you're livin' in the past, put your automap on. It's the 1.12 era son

about now I see the hostile sign and we both run to the bridge to determine the fate of this saga. I quickly hot key my grim ward attack and leap attack to this bitch bowin while he puts sme green aura under him. As soon as I step outside, i check my stats and resist, all in the negatives

Loochi: Shit son?! why the hell my shit this low!?
ya-jaaa: hacks. now die
Loochi: I knew your punk ass would tr-

*Loochi was slain by ya-jaaa*

ya-jaaa: ty for the gold bitch
Loochi: fuck you give it back. I need to repair my crude plate mail with that shit. you think that armour grows on trees son?
ya-jaaa: Lol.

I run out of town and I get struck by litning, two dead bodies. This does not bode well... had to call for back up.

Loochi: Lil T quit that xfer game and come help get my body. Get your sorceress up in this bitch. Some faggot keeps nking me.
Lil T: on my way bra.

About now T comes in, glowing with his queer purple outfit and ugly troll looking mask. Definitly scares niggaz in duels

ya-jaaa: LOL. You think that shit will beat me?
Loochi: Take a hit of his frozen orb I dare ya? wink.gif
ya-jaaa: go I'll take it.

His aura changed to a bluey colour. T powers up to his max and shoots three direct frozen orbs and his mana was drained. Not a dent in this bitchs armour. Some kinda godly shit. T, in his failing attempt tried to teleport back to town but was zapped in his ass by the litning more money taken. It's time for Kuzin K to come in this bitch

ya-jaaa: LOL! a summonin necro? you gotta be joking
Kuzin K: I notcied your litnig hack aonly attacks 1 guy? wat u gonna do now son? I got an army of 6 mages and 3 skeletons and a act3 merc with gear bought from charsi. wat u got on me son?
Loochi: THAT'S MA KUZZZINNN.

Kuzin K was killed in 1 hit and little litning bolts came out from that bolt and killed all his skeletons that took him half an hour in cold plains normal to get.

Guys.. Was this beef MY fault? I truely think this guy is unethical. He took all our gold and took our ears to show everyone how much of noobs we are... If I had my bonesnap the tables would probably be in my favour..

[Dnote]

Loochi Gets Hired at Blizzard.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I was at the gas station today wearing a singlet that really shows off my arms and how tough I am, girls were checkin me out while their pussy boyfriends didn't do nothin about it but suck up to me "hey bro! lookin good bro! =D" - fuckin sissies. As I was fillin my escalade up, a van full of punks rolls past next to me and 1 of the guys started hollering some stuff that I thought was quite unnecessary..

Punk1: Ahy yo! you're that muscly nerd who plays computer games huh? LOL!!! GET LAID FREAK?
Loochi: No the fuck you didn't...

So they sped away and I filled up the escalade and didn't even pay for the petrol, no time for that shit. I had to own some noobs inorder to sustain my alpha dominnance. I sped right next to them and gave them a look, about now they're cryin and scared and when they least expected it, they hit a powerpole full on and as I looked in the rareview mirror, I see a big mushroom cloud explosion

Loochi: "ahhh, Loochi Looch'. You done it again." wink.gif

I thought to my self happily and to be honest, I'm glad they're dead. One less of a beating.

So I arrive at work 2 hours late as usual. And I look at the disgusting blue sign.. 'Blizzard Entertainment' - My job is the janitor who mops the floors. I like to keep the floor extra wet so pussy ass faggots slip and injure themselves. Gotta love that shit.

As I was mopping, I over here two nerds talkin about the new D3 that's comin out.. Something I wish I didn't hear.

Handsome nerd: This new char is gonna blow away the barbarian and the witch doctor away
Troll nerd: Hell yes man! The scrollazon is going to be popular!
Handsome nerd: I can't believe we're having barbarian again.. worst char. Oh well, atleast we took out the unncessary skill like grim ward, potion find, leap att-
Loochi: You fuckin did what?
Handsome nerd: Um... Excuse me? shudnt u mope the floors?
*both nerds laugh and give a high 5*
Loochi: Listen up here nancy and sally, I don't give a fuck about this new character of yours 'the scrollazon' . Sounds like a cheap jip to me. A character that has a mastry tree in scroll of identify?? wtf is up with that shit? And no leap attack or grim ward ? u gotta be outta your mind? I didn't win all those battles against geeks on bnet based on lame attacks... You're makin the barbarian a sissy.
Troll nerd: You don't like the scrollazon?? Her level 30 skill is mass identify. Similar to deckard cain in diablo two. But because it is such an overpowered skill, you can only use it once a game. If you wish to use it again, you have to rejoin. Much like the charge lock that we left on purp-
Handsome: Enough troll.. Look you better do your job otherwise we WILL make that barbarian a sissy... btw. you missed a spot. wink.gif

About now I'm all raged up and shit. Gettin made fun of by nerds?? a Scrollazon who uses scrolls for weapons? Barbarian doesn't have leap attack? What's next? Deckard cain fucks kashya in the ass? This has got to be a joke. I thought blizzard slipped up far enough when they made world of warcraft but this has gone far enough..

CEO: what's goin on here? shouldn't you all be working?
Loochi: Shouldn't you be sucking my dick?
*Both nerds*: Ooooo
CEO: Excuse me?
Loochi: Why the fuck doesn't the barbarian have leap attack.
CEO: Pack your stuff and leave. You're fired.
Loochi: Wrong answer tiffany..

I always looked upon the barbarian as a true hero, I have posters of him on my wall and shit and even my cereal bowl has a picture of him leaping. So I thought "why the fuck not?" so I picked up the broom near by and I imagined it was my old bonesnap wit thul in it. I felt such a rush that I jumped off a desk with it and cried out "heee" and hit the CEO straight in the nose. About now security was called up and I gapped that stink ass job. Went over to T's house and called up the crew tellin tthem wat happend. We were all laughin an hollerin

Neesh [size=Size] [/size]

[Dnote]

Loochi Scooms Some Nerd.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I received another warning letter from the landlord about the noise complaints that I was recieving in my neighboring apartments due to the college poon that I was slamming each night. The local college had some fine ass broads jus down the road from where I'm living.

I walk down to see what my homie G_Bomb was up to and have a D2 Lan up over at his room when suddenly a man knocks on the door like a maniac. I decided to see wtf is up with that shit.

I open the door to what appears to be a 6 foot behemoth who needed a shave. He didn't look too happy either for some odd reason. He had two kids with him, an asian geek and a hispanic freak.

Loochi: *looks him up and down* mmm..??
Frank: Listen here you punk. You stole my sons tarn helm in a xfer game did you not? *points at the asian kid*
Loochi: LOL.. Why did you get a tattoo saying big daddy on your arm? You don't look tough.. You look fat?
Frank: Bigger than your ass you muscle wanna be punk
Loochi: Heh.. Maybe so chief, but I'm handsomer wink.gif

About now this guy is all infuriated by the way I was back chatting to his fat ass. He walks closer to me and grabs me by the arm.. NOT a smart move buddy, I sent an uppercut sandwhich his way, musta sent him about 7 meters across the room. These biceps of mine sure pack a punch. He gets up all stumbling and mumbling, had to grab something nearby to knock him the fuck out so I can deal with the asian kid. I grab G_Bomb's new LCD screen and smash it over his head just crushing mephisto's soul stone with that hammer. Felt the viabration of the crack, really made me feel / look tough. Needed to blame the breakage on him too.

Loochi: AY YO G_BOMB!
G_Bomb: ??
Loochi: THIS FAT PRICK HERE BROKE YOUR LCD SCREEN AND CALLED YOU A PUNK BITCH!
G_Bomg: WTF!?

G_Bomb dashes his fastest towards this fat douche and sends his blow after harsh blow and knee's and elbows. Completely knocking him the fuck out. G_Bomb is a true thug for real. Will go through all measures to smash someone whether it being D2 or real life. The adopted hispanic kid is laughin and hollerin seein his pussy step dad gettin smash by G_Bomb. I quick roll up my sleeves to my biceps and make way to the slit eyed kid to make him never forget that this tarn helm was mine. I see his pussy ass running and screaming for securitiy crying like a bitch. I send a text msg to Lil T to come help me catch up and put an end to this drama once and for all.

As per usual, Lil T never showed up probably had a pussy excuse not to get into the fight. He always dodges even in D2 duels. I grab the kid by the collar and lift him up with one hand and start laying into him with the other. He's all cryin and shoutin that tarn helm was never his, he was keeping it warm for me. Just the answer I wanted to hear. I walk into their room and I see the computer switchted on with his D2 account still open. I quickly empty out his items and xfer them to my account and delete his charaters and spilled olive oil all over the room and lit a match. Good fire works display if you ask me. Police and ambulance all over the appartments investigating who did this shit while the pussies know it was us, they never dared to question us.

Me and G_Bomb laughin and hollerin and went back to his room to split the items 50/50.

[Dnote]

Loochi Encounters Some LLD

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I was in the Dark woods searching each corner of the map for the forgettin tower to find some thul runes to get me some items. Game musta been either stuffed up or laggin due to the fact I couldn't find it. All I found was a stinkin cave that lead to a level below it and a dead end. What a jip, musta spent about 4 and half hours searching and getting killed by fallens until I dropped due to time because the amount of bodies of mine lagged the game up.

I look to see what games to join and I decided to take out my frustration and time wastage on a low level duel game. Needed to show these fuckin noobs who runs this realm around here.

I get in, and I can feel these pussies trembling in fear with each step I take towards the bridge, even though I wasn't hostile they can still sense the fact I'm here to cause nothing but rtouble. Pussy ass faggots musta thought it was christmas before I showed up or some shit, runnin back to town and picking up their gold. I see an assassin a black smiter going at like pathetic nubs. I had to show my alpha dominance so I hostile both and take a step out to the moore.

Loochi: Alright, I'll take both of you pussies at the same time. Who wants to get leaped first?
Jo_sinsin: Lol.. lvl 68 barb.
PkO-smiteyou: ZzzzzzZ

About now people at the bridge where hollerin and talkin shit about how I'm a fag who ruined their game. I'm jus sittin back drinkin my 'yak with a smerk and laughin at these pussies. The smiter changes to his holy freeze aura (Don't blame him for using BM, he'd need all he can get jus to even get close enough to take a screen shot of me.) while the assassin puts on her burst of speed. Musta been gettin ready to make a run for the cold plains wp. I'd be damned before that happened. Luckily I had so many manapotions in my belt and inventory that I could leap through the whole game and back if I wanted, this bitch ain't goin no where.

As I walk out of the bridge, I get hostile by level 9's and 12's along with these two lvl 20's. This couldn't have been any funnier, Seeing everyone die to my military pick will surely make me look like a soldier. Now I know what you're thinking.. You think I would pwned these guys from a grim ward right? .. Yeah, That's what I thought too. The assassin comes in first and starts kicking me. Musta took about 1/3 of my life?!! (wtf!?) I was tryna make a run for it but the damn holy freeze aura musta made me slower than a damn zombie. Didn't help either when a level 31 necro came with deceprify. I was slower than a snail at this point! Bone prisoned, I never thought this plan could do a 360. Jus as I was about to hit the esc button to gtfo of there, I got killed.

Musta read about 20 msgs that said 'LOL!' and everyone taking the gold that I earned from NKing Lil T.

I don't get it... How the fuck does low levels beat a high level barbarian??

[Dnote]

Loochi Duels Some Hackers.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I was in a private pk game the other day invited by one of the GK clan members to test out my maul weilding abilities on some of West's best duelers. To recieve this invitiation was a true honor and respect that I have recieved. My dreams of fighting in the big leagues and proving to be number one is only a few steps away. No.. A few wins away. wink.gif

I enter the game and pussy ass faggots could tell they're in for a brawl. I could see them standing there lookin at my rare ethreal stone crusher maul (I sold my bonesnap in order to bring uber diablo into the game but he didnt come so this will compensate, just as good to be honest, adds 3 more light radius and other good mods for pk) and wearing my imbued destroyer helm really made me look like a bad ass not to be messed with. I push P on the keyboard and jus before I hostiled I see the levels these faggots were packing. 88+!! Some even 96! (wtf?) - Definitly using some hack to gain levels, everyone on battlenet knows that if you're more than level 70 then you are gauranteed that guy is a fat nerd with acne on his face. No doubt about it. I know my shit because it basically took me 3 and a half weeks to get from 68 to 69.

I come to the bridge and I could not believe my eyes at the hacks GK has exposed to bnet.. First off there was an amazon named Drugie who had the ability to shoot charged bolts from far away that killed anyone in its path. (Maybe he was a sorceress with disguise hack that changed him to a zon?) and some nerd had the female barbarian from D3. Musta worked for blizzard or some shit, but gotta admit it woulda been cool to play with them before everyone else, kinda looked like the assassin though. And a funny one is a necromancer who was see through, I liked to cal him ethromancer. This guy loked like he was usin fade, he enver got hit once in the game. Probably wearing ethreal items. Good idea, might give it a go.. Probably a hack though. - Never mind those faggots. I hostiled a sorceress with fantasicm aura from the paladin.. I didn't care about the paladin mods she was usin, I eat sorcs for breakfast. Matter of fact, her hacking is making it a GM duel vsing my strong assed self. She enchanted just to get as good as me, Musta took me about 6 leap attaks to peirce her manashield b4 she transformed into a bear and with 1 slap, I lost all my gold and that female barb came and took it..

DK_lolipop: Oopse sorry Loochi. My cat walked on the mouse and I attacked by accident. I'll wait til you say go next time.
Loochi: ...

About now I've had enough of this shit.. Ithought this was GM duels and no hacks??

Loochi: Yo Hammernator-GK.. Wtf you bring me in this game for? I told you I'm all about legit duels you fuckin douchebag.
Hammernator-GK: This is legit bro, you jus gotta remake your barbarian and use whirlwind instead of that failure of a skill you use.
Loochi: ... what? Failure of a skill!? Son you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.. You think this is legit!? Look at the sorceress who used hacks to turn her self into a bear that's twice my size? If I leaped I'd prob only reach her knees.
Hammernator-GK: You mean like this? *Transform to werewolf barb*
Loochi: Heh... you all hack huh? You're not scared about your cd-keys?
Hammernator-GK: Nah dude we're not hacking, it's from thes-
Loochi: I don't wanna hear it GK.. You're pathetic like the rest of your pussy ass clan. Only reason a person would use a hack is because they fail at duels.
Hammernator-GK: ... alright man lol. Don't say I didn't try to explain tongue.gif
Loochi: No need for yourexcuses faggot, they're probably full of hacks.
Everyone: LOL !

About now I exited off diablo. Needed to cool down, ruined my buzz after all that.

Anyone here duel legit? No hacks?

[Dnote]

Loochi Finds A Unid HOTO.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I was in a tower run before with Kuzin K and G bomb hunting for some equipment and keys to gear us up for some baal runs later on. I killed a fallen inside the tower and it dropped a unique flail. I could not believe my eyes.. A hoto. Now I can use this as my second weapon and cast ravens to blind my enemies while I gather enough momentum to leap on'em. Problem is.. I identified it and it turned out to be some jackass general's flail that had nothing to do with raven casting.. Kuzin K and G_Bomb are laughin their ass' off at the fact it didn't turn to hoto. They were suprised aswell.. It added a bit of slow so my enemies wouldn't get away in a duel. I guess that'd come in handy if they tried to hack.

Guys, does Hoto no longer exist cause of casting ravens being imbalanced? Did they patch this in the new patch? I feel so robbed from blizzard. Going to the chat support as we speak to talk to the admins about this shit. This is false advertisment. Depressed now. Had a gg plan and it's down the drain because of blizzard. It didn't even list the changes in the new patch guide?

What's going on..

[Dnote]

Loochi Tries to Buy Some Items.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So Lil T called me up the other day tellin' me his boy George has a website that sells items and he's willing to give us 50% off the items, a deal of a life time. I race over to T's house and get chatting with George about the future and sake of my barbarian.

Loochi: So george, you sell the followin? : Bonesnap, trangoul armour, cathans mask?
George: Pretty much got most of it man, if you just scroll down, you'll find subtitles like uniques, se-
Loochi: Yeah whatever, not even going to waste my time. I told you what I wanted and I expect you to have it within the hour.
George: Lol??
Lil T: It's cool George, Looch' jus anxious to get his barb gg again. You know, he was once the duel king of west until he got jacked by gheed.
George: I see.. ..??

So we got talkin for about an hour about the deals and combinations that George sells on his site and what combo to get for what char.

Loochi: I'm a leap attack hybrid cross with grimward. Which you recommend? *arms folded, biceps buldgin*
George: Wha..? Dude, we kinda have grief zerker axe with beast in a combo with a CoA an-
Loochi: The fuck is that shit?? C-O-A? Son you think I'm down with your Diablo 2 lingo??
Lil T: Looch' wtf man? He's tryna help us out..
George: It's cool Lil E..
Lil T: T..
George: It's only the best helm there is but whatever. Did you even take a look at grief and beast?
Loochi: Beast is a hacked item that gives hacks. I may cheat on my girlfriend, steal from the local 7/11 but I ain't ever gonna hack. And what's this grief bs? It doesnt even add damage but require's a higher level than bonesnap? Must be a glitch blizzard needs to fix.
George: Nah dude, it's got hidden damage. Ask anyone on the server they all want it and need it. Plus it's a ladder item only.
Loochi: I am ladder.
George: No your not dude.

About now I'm ready to knock george the fuk out for disrespectin, but had to hold it together for Lil T's sake. May as well just take it out on him after he leaves.

George: Well, I guess there's no package for your barb.. We only sell ww.
Loochi: Only sell ww? Ok, tell me George. You think that to be the champion of USWest duels you use wind whirl with a naulitious weapon that doesnt pack heat against Lord de Seiz?
George: Wha? Lord Jesus?? wind whirl? That made no se-
Lil T: GUYS WTF?! We're here to do business.
George: You're friends crazy Lil G, I'm out of here.. I'ma go sell to someone else.. Leap attack rofl.

As he was walking out the door, I rolled up my sleeves to my humoungus biceps, turned him around and gave him a straight punch to the jaw. Sent him flying about 3 metres through the wall. Lil T was talkin' shit about how his mom's gonna freak when she see's the whole and the blood all over the place.

Lil T: You better clean this shit up Looch' otherwise I'm gon-

About now I picked T up with one hand, squashed shoved him in the washing machine and put all of the detergent and pushed super wash. T's screamin for help like a bitch, I'm laughin an shit seein' his pussy ass spin around like a punk bitch. That's what he gets for wastin my time. Couldn't hear him scream in the next 5 min, musta drowned or someshit. Saw his lil sis nex room, she had some fine tits, pure virgin with a look of a slut. I'm about to go rip her a new one.

See you pussies later.

[Dnote]

Enchant FTW.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So I was at my home boy G_Bomb's crib drinkin 40's and shit celebrating the fact he finally got offered a job at the petrol station. Now he can save up money to buy himself an apartment and a computer. G_Bomb's a true thug foreal, He doesn't even have a house. He lives in the corner of the street with 3 pepsi boxes who he shares with his 4 dads and a prositute mom as shelter. The only time he can log on D2 is when he robs someone's wallet and goes to the net cafe. That's why his sin is laggin behind at lvl 34. If he had a comp of his own and played everyday, only god knows wat his sin would do in pvp and what level she'd reach. (I'm guessin lvl 54?)

Texted up my girl lettin' her know that I'm safe and I'm on my way home to slam her cool.gif

Loochi: Sup, I'm on my way home and you better get into your position by the time I kick the door down.
Dana: Ok sXc, I lOvE YoU HePzz xx, tExT bAkC

To hell with that shit, only reason I have a phone is to text people to pk and to bang bitches that I meet. I don't do replies.

I really wanted to bang so I went and took a shortcut through this gang members allyway. Dangerous as it may be, I always take chances. Even when it means Barbarian vsing a pussy bowazon. I take hits and still be standing. If my barb can 2 hits b4 he dies to a bowazon with kuko bow, then I guess I can take a few hits from some pussy wanna be LA gangsters.

All eyes on me as I walk through the place, I'm starin back to show them who's more of an alpha male. Pussy ass faggots backin down seeing my tshirt tite on me and my biceps flaring out. I bet these pussies had weapons stashed away incase a barbarian sized hulk such as my self felt like owning them. Lucky that I'm smart and I carry an umberalla were ever I go, I take that shit with me wether its sunny , dark or raining. Never know when I'm gonna get into trouble. One hit to the head should knock them the fuck out if they felt like bein' a bad boy.

Gang leader: What you think you doin here homez? You wanna get knocked SA?
Loochi: Sorry son, but I don't speak indian. wink.gif
Gang member 1: Let's fuk this putong in the ass *pulls out a rusty cleaver*
Loochi: Butchers cleaver huh? I knew you pussies where bad manner fighters. Carryin weapons and shit. *gets his umberella out*

About now the gangs laughin and shit seein me in my stance ready for a fight and an umberalla. One of the gang members was laughin so hard that I knew it was my oppertunity to strike. I held the umberela jus like a javazon would hold titanz and I poked him in the eye. Musta did 12k damage or some shit coz blood was coming out and screaming like a bitch.

Gang member 2: MY EEEEEYYYYY!!!!
Loochi: Thank me later when people start callin you a pirate.

Gang member 1 swiping his cleaver with heat, missin and shit. Jus as expected. I was duckin an dodgin that shit like a game of stuck in the mud. Did an under arm swipe straight to his nuts, made him curl up into a ball like the sissy he is. Time to get the big fish in the small pond. It was a epic battle between us too. He was evading me like crazy. My attack rating with my umberella musta been low or some shit, but I remember what Lil T's new skill gave him. 'Enchant' - This added more AR and he was able to hit shit more. I had a lighter in my pocket from the blunt that I was blazing with G bombs 3rd father and decided to 'enchant' my umberealla. Lit my umberalla up and man was I packin literal heat! Burnin umberalla and shit.

Gang Leader: WTF? YOU CRAZY ESAY!
Loochi: Stand still, I'm gona jab the fuk outta you.

Pussy ass faggot started runnin away with his wrists flayling in the air like a queer gay fag. I knew that If I used diablo 2 tactics in R/L it would prevail. Everything in diablo is true and related to life. I wouldn't have won without enchanting my umberalla. Saw some fine bitch up the road waitin for her bf to pick her up, I knew that I'd never forgive my self if I didn't stick my dong in between her ass. Took her back to E Low's apartment and slammed her good. GF still wondering where I am.

[Dnote]

Loochi and Richard.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So on Saturday I received a phone call from some douche bag named 'Richard' who claimed he was my girl friends study buddy for chemistry. I did not like the sounds of this one bit. I'm about to crush the phone with my grip. She never told me about this dickweed.

*Ring ring.. Ring ring.. Ring ring..*

Loochi: Sup, This be Loochi's crib. Who the fuck is this?
Richard: Umm, hey dude. I'm Richard. I study chemistry in college with Dana? Is she around?
Loochi: Heh, Richard ay? Do people call you Dick for short?
Richard: No..
Loochi: How about weiner?
Richard: No?!!?
Loochi: How abou-
Dana: bAbE, wHo Is It? Is It FoR mE?
Loochi: JUSS A SECONDDDD! *Whispers in an angry voice* Alright 'Dick', I don't know what you're planning on my girl but no body fucks with her 'cept me. You got that!?
Richard: ?!?.. Yeah sure man. I just really need to study and pass this test to get into med school. Could you please put her on?
Loochi: Yo Dana!!, One of your nerd friends who's tryna get into your pants needs your help or some shit. I'ma log on my barbarian and kick some ass.

An hour passed with them on the phone and I need to see what's up.

Loochi: Yo Dana the fuck's goin' on? I needa stick my dong into something. You in or what?!
Dana: sRy BaBy. I'mA gO 2 RiChArDs tO StuDy.
Loochi: Weiner boy huh? Oh yeah? We'll I'm coming.
Dana: wHy BaBe? YoU kNoW nOtHinG aBoUt ChMisTry. JuSt PlAy YoUr DeViL 2 GamE
Loochi *infuriated*: IT'S DIABLO 2 YOU UGLY BITCH!!!
Dana *T_T*: I'm sO sOrY bAbE!
Loochi: And for your information, When I bust in your mouth, it sends enough electrical pulses and ions for it to be organic chemistry. Ya dig?
Dana: Ok BaBy. CoMe If Ya WnA.

I'm drivin' on my way to this fags house with my tight tshirt about to rip. I'm not going to let them study. As soon as I get in there, I'm gonna ring the door bell, wait for him to open the door and send him an uppercut. Teach him to have a gay name and mess with my girl.

*DING DONG*

Richard: Heeeyyy Dana, you made it biggrin.gif

Jus as I was about to clench my fist, I see a computer with what appears to be a 'Diablo II LOD' on his desk. I had to ask him.

Loochi: Richard right? What character do you play as.
Richard: Wha?
Loochi: On diablo 2 moron, don't act dumb.
Richard: Oh. I haven't logged on for about 2 months now. Kinda time consuming and pointless. I'm tryna get into m-
Loochi: You think I give a flying fuck about what you wanna do son? Here's how this ;study time' is going to happen. I'm bringing in my lap top, and we're going to hook this shit up and we're dueling.
Richard: You can't be serious right??? Come on bro ha ha. Enough with the jokes tongue.gif
Dana: BaaaabBeee I'm sCaRdE. WhAtS gOiNg oN..

Richard saw me go into the car and pull out my lap top, he knew that I don't fuck around. When I say something, I follow through just like a level 4 guided arrow. I hooked it up next to his computer, covered the keys while I typed the password and logged in.

Loochi: I'm waiting rich?
Dana: bAAAbE!!!! tHisNOTT thE TIME!!!
Richard: *sigh*. one sec..

We join my game Loochi1/1 and I hostiled him.He had a level 76 necromancer. I equipped my gear ready to smash this prick. Got corpses around me for grim ward incase he decided to bring in minions like a pussy. I was wrong about his necro, he didn't have one summon. He used poison nova. One nova got me to 1 life in a blink of an eye. Unbelievable hacks I tell you.. About now I got off my chair and I closed the lap top, picked it up and did what I had to do..

Loochi: Yo rich, check this new skill I earned while leveling
*Richard turns around*
Richard: Sup, whats yo-
*Richard falls on the floor*
Loochi: It's called slap across the face with a laptop attack.

I hit him across the face with my lap top. Straight K/O. My girls crying and screaming and shouting that we're over. I was laughing my ass off at the fact he was on the ground out cold. I quickly logged on to my account again and hostiled him while Dana is calling the ambulance and I quickly killed him. Took 45 mins of leap attacks to get through his bone armour and about another half hour to kill him. I was out of there before the police came. Going to Lil T's house to tell him what happend.

Was I being insecure about this situation?

[Dnote]

The Way A Barb Should Look.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi. *Part 1*

So I got a urgent text from my main man T stating that the college prom was due to hit tonight and we needed to look classy ASAP in order to slam some young naieve broads.

Lil T: Sup Big L. The Hamilton prom is tonight and I got a ticket for me and this hot babe! You should try to get a ticket too bro.
Loochi: No need son, I'll just walk in. Pussy ass security guards wouldn't dare try shit when I'm around.
Lil T: Hah. Vouch.

I quickly get on my motor bike and drive through the window of the prom suit parler and make a scene. Glass everywhere and people runnin' around like pussies. Took off my aviators and walked straight to the counter like how a BVB would walk when he's vsing another BVB. (Retardedly fast)

Loochi: Sup, I need you to make a custom fit suit for a guy with biceps the size of a barbarian and Legs like tree trunks.
Jennifer: ... Mm.. I think we have that in store atm actually, Name and address please?
Loochi: Heh, Just put me under 'Talic the barbarian, protector of mount arreat' cool.gif
Jennifer: Ok Talic, and your address?
Loochi: Lut Gholein. I know.. It's a fucked up name. Some where near Iraq. Bloody arabs cool.gif

About now we both laughin and hollerin at the race but back to business.

Jennifer: Ok we'll have the suit ready in no time Talic biggrin.gif Enjoy your day.
Loochi: *picks his bike up and puts his aviators back on* Oh and sweet cheeks, Make sure the elbow and knee area in the outfit are baggy.. I don't want to have restricted knees and elbows incase of a fight wink.gif
Jennifer: *Bites her bottom lip at how much of a bad boy I am*

Next stop was the hair dressors. I needed a haircut that made me stand out and make me look like an alpha male. Something that will make the girls panties drop with a blink of an eye. I sit down on the chair and adjust my face towards the mirror. Waiting for the fag to chop it to the way I want it.

Danny: Heeeeeeeeeyyyy, Welllcomeeeeeeeeeee. Whattttttt Cannnnnnnnnnn I Dooooooooooooodoododo Forrr yoyoyouuuuu wink.gif heart.gif
Loochi: Enough with the pleasantries, let's keep it simple fagasaur. This is EXACTLY what I want. Nothing more, Nothing less. *Hands out a picture of the barbarian from the diablo 2 manual*

Pussy ass hair dressor kept his mouth shut and shaved my hair off good. I'm seeing Brad pitt through the mirror in the making. Never thought someone as handsome as I am would turn into super handsome. I'm getting laid tonight without a doubt. Got up from my seat and picked up the hair of the floor.

Danny: EwwwWWWwwwww WHAaaattttttt Arrrreeeeeeeee YOuouoyoyouooooo DOINGINGIGNGNIgg...
Loochi: Taking it with me incase I feel like glueing it back on son. You mad?
Danny: HEEYYYY YOURRR SUPPOSSEEE TO PAAAYYYYYYY T_T..
Loochi: *puts his aviators lower so the guy can see his eyes* Heh.. You actually think a barbarian like me pays for what he wants? *Laughs out loud like baal after a wave of monsters been killed*

Got on my bike and headed towards the tattoo parler to tie the knot on my new look. I go in and I see some blonde with double D's and tattoo's all over her melons. I walk up to her and take off my aviators.

Loochi: *Stares at breasts* Sup, I want a tattoo on my face.
Katrina: Sure hun, What would you like it to be of?
Loochi: The stripe on the right side of the barbarians face. That is the only way people will know I am from harrogath.
Katrina: ???
Loochi: *Pulls his pants down to his barbarian briefs and points to it.
Katrina: Ohhhh sure hun smile.gif We can do that.

Katrina does a fine job but forgot to tell me that on the first day of the tattoo. The area swells up. About now I look like Brian peppers and shit. I wasn't impressed..

Loochi: THE FUCK!? I wanted a barbarian face.. NOT BRIAN PEPPERS ... How am I suppose to get laid with my face like this?!!
Katrina: I think brian peppers is cute with his frog eyes and his rapest mentality.. dw hun! You'll be fine by tomorrow!

Hopefully if I put some ice on it, It will cool it down. Gave Katrina a fake hundred dollar bill that I had in my wallet from Lil T's Monopolly game and boosted off back to the prom suit parler to pick up my suit for tonight.

So far so good cool.gif

*************************************PART 2***********************************

So I got the suit from the parler and went back to the apartment to use the GHD hair straightner to straighten my pony tail. Gotta look fly and represent my ancestors of Harrogath. Face swelling down and suit fits on me nice and tight which really shows off my guns but very flexible incase of a duel. I was set to hit the prom and make jaws drop but I didn't want to leave without my most important item, my umberella. Never know when I might get into trouble. This baby has got me through the roughest of times.

I'm walkin' down the main road with my barbarian tattoo on my face, shaved head with a pony tail and my prom suit. Gettin' the stares from all the ladies, a definite thumbs up. wink.gif

Umberella strapped to my back like a samurai sword, I'm ready for action and ready to get laid. cool.gif - I avoid the security at the front door and make my way in. Girls runnin up to me and leavin their dates just to come say hi.

Cassandra: Wow.. Your haircut is sooo sexy, What's your name handsome?
Loochi: HAAARRR! *I cried out like how a barbarian would when you're on the character selection screen*
Tiffany: Ooo you look like the strong silent type with that tattoo across your face. I wish I went to this prom with you.. My date has acne and smells like a penguin.. *twiddles with her hair*

I wasn't paying attention to these broads because I was too busy checking out their sweet tits but suddenly was interupted by a drunken idiot.. Lil T runs up to me with his what appears to be a pepsi max can and he has the nerve to act drunk infront of me to get in my good books, and possibly to try and get laid.

Lil T: LOOOOOOOocheeeeeeehhhhh ! I LOVEEEEEEEEEE UUUUU BRAAAA..!!!
Loochi: *Grabs him by the shirt* Look you wannabe asshole, I'm tryna get laid tonight. If you mess this up for me. I swear to God I'll kick your ass and change your pw to your account
Lil T: Ok ok relax bro, it's only a pepsi max can.. It doesn't even have pepsi in it. I found it in the rubbish bin. You know I'm elergic to pepsi man :S

About now the girls heard this and started laughin and chuckin strawberries at his head. T blushes and gets tears in his eyes. I'm laughin back with the girls and tellin them about the time when I put him in the washin machine for actin like a bitch.

I was about to walk away when suddnely someone turned me around and held my by the collar. Not a smart move on this mans behalf..

Jason: I saw you pervin on my girl and sistor retard, leave before I kick your ass.

I quickly leaped on his toes and knocked him back a bit, put him in faster hit recovery mode - He musta had shit fhr because he was still saying 'ouch, oouch ouhccc' so this was the perfect oppertunity to bring my umberealla out and hit him across the head. One hit to the head and he's crying. One of the girls cries and yells for security while the other one is turned on by how much of a thug I am, I quickly unstrap her bra with my brella, zorro style and check out those fine tits of hers. Took a pxt and sent it to my homie G_Bomb , he sent a text back hollerin and shit.

Security comes dashing to wards me. I couldn't take on all of them so I had to make a run upstairs to the roof top. Lil T saw what was going on and wanted to buy me some time to make up for his lame drunk wanna be act. He climbed on top of the table near him and unscrewed the disco ball.

Lil T: This one's for our friendship Big L.. FROOOOOZEEEENNNNNN ORRRB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_<

T chucks the disco ball at the main security guards head and it shatters everywere creating a frozen orb like affect. Musta injured about 10 people near him and probably wounded some for life. Police came and beat T down and cuffed him. It was everything in me not to laugh.

I get to the top and I get surrounded by security. No where to run as it seems.. It was too far to leap to the next building. So I had to think of another way to get out of there otherwise I was going to get anal raped in the cells. Not the place I imagined I'd go to. Pussy ass security lunge at me and I wack them off with my umberalla one by one, Luke sky walker shit. I look down and I see the channel one news taping me and shit. I did what I had to do..

I open up the umberalla and jump off the roof, I glide over to the nearest building and land safely. Watching merry poppin wen I was a kid really helped me out this time. Pussy security guards waving their fists at me. I'm jus laughin and hollerin and shit. I see a bathroom window near by with a awesome chick havin a shower. Musta had Double Z tits or some shit. I sneak in and proceed to get my dong sucked. cool.gif

[Dnote]

How to Build A Barb, Right.

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

Recently I've been gettin pm'd alot about how to make a gfg barbarian and how to duel each character class to seal the victory. To shut you pussies up, I've gone out of my way to write a guide for you.

Lately all I've been encountering in duel games are whirlwind barbarians. Pathetic is the only word I can come up with when I see these builds.

Luckily you've opened the right thread. This is the place where I will give you my secret Leap attack guide. This guide is basically over powered. Blizzard made the barbarian jump in mid air to dodge everything (fire balls, hammers, arctic blast - u name it)

STATS:
Strength: You will need enough strength to weild a maul. Preferablly an upped bone snap ethreal with dol (Alternative: Imbued pike socketed with Saphire for the extra cold attack)
Dexterity: None on here, You won't need much attack rating.. It's not like you're trying to swat a fly for fuks sake.. Leaping with a maul will bash anyones head in. Weather they have a big head or not (Druids and their antler helms)
Vitality: I think if your character can run without losing stamina, you won't need any stats on here. You have one healthy energetic barbarian.
Energy: What..? You on a Jenny Craig diet or some shit?! Put atleast 70% of your earned stats on this. You will need this so much, I cannot stress this attribute. Good luck leaping without mana.

Skills:

Leap attack: 20
Grim ward: 20 (If monsters in the way of pk you need to scare them off so they wont interfere)
Find potion: 20 (Definitly a neat trick if you're getting owned and needa heal. Shit I use this all the time, hot keyed F1)
Rest: Max stamina. The more stamina you have, the more likely you'll out last your enemy

Items :

Helm: Tal rashas mask - for the leech it offers (What's better than that?)
Armour: Stealth - The name says it all, you need to be invisible for duels.
Boots: Don't worry about this, barbarians are born warriors. They can handle the hard earth with their feet.
Gloves: Immortal kings glove
Belt: Immortal king belt (Game glitches and gives stats when 2 or more IK items are on.)
Jewelery: LOL? What... Your barbarian a sissy now? Wearing jewelery..? Take that shit back to paris hilton son. You won't need this.
Weapon: Bone snap. enough said.

Dueling strategies:

Barb vs Amazon

Bowazon: Forget this match, it's over before it's started. You're muscle restrict you from even reaching to their pussy run away char. gg
Javazon: Medium to hard: Most Javazons kill you in one hit, but sometimes the game lags out and you have a chance to leap them. Pray to God it's a laggy night otherwise you're fighting an uphill battle here.

Barb vs Assassin

Trappers: Try to leap over the traps. if you can do this fast enough, I don't see why you can't win this match up.
wwsins / MA: These faggots hack all the time and create a mirror image of them selves. 2v1 you're most likely to lose.

Barb vs barb

Ww barbs: Easy match up, wait for them to ww you and you leap to the otherside. Keepthis untl you run them out of mana. Then it's your turn to hit. It's all about strategy guys.

Barb vs Necro

Summoner: Quit the game.
psn and bone: Could go either way, his spirits follow you but they can't reach you in mid air. Leap like a frog son. Leap like a frog.

Barb vs Druid

Wind: This one is your hardest match up. You can't leap into a pack of dogs ? They'll shred you to pieces.
shapeshift: You're more conditioned and muscular than them. Duel is in your favour. Try to use grim ward to scare off his spirit.

Barb vs Sorceress

cold: Better put on some winter gear because it's gonna get cold.
lightening: get a topazed armour that will absorb her attacks. Easy
fire: dwarf star is the way to go for this one

barb vs paladin

Alright, here's the one that most ww barbs fail to kill.

Hammerdin: Easy, while he spams, name lock him and leap. This ain't rocket science.

(If you sort out the hammerdin basically you can kil all types of paladins)

Leveling areas:

1-30 trist runs. - estimated time. 1 and a half weeks of leveling
30-50 baal normal - estimated time. All day
50+ (have no life and play everyday. You make the call) - Estimated time. Never tried. I got shit to do.

PM me if there's anything wrong this guide.

Thanks, I hope it works for you as it worked for me.

[Dnote]

Loochi VS His Lecturer

Sup guys, It's me Loochi.

So on Friday I had my Barbarianology 101 lecture that I had to go to. Came to class late and hungover as usual, girls checkin me out each step I take. Just like a model on the cat walk. I walk to the very back where all the bad boys are hollerin and throwin paper planes and shit and go sit next to my homie Giant-J.

I'm tellin' ya, Giant-J is hugeeeeeee. I've never met a 12 foot 11 guy before. He basically had to sit on his stomach just so he can sit in the lecture. Plus he was sitting at the back which made shit worse.

Loochi: What up Giant-J cool.gif
Giant-J: Fuck all man, learning about mastries again today..
Loochi: Oh wtf? Again?? Didn't we do sword mastry last week?
Giant-J: Yeah but today is throwing mastry.
Loochi: You gotta be shitting me.. Let's bounce and go find some poon to pound cool.gif
Giant-J: YeeeYa. I'm wityaaa. Help me get out. I'm stuck

Jus as we're about to leave, the lecturer started talkin shit and was forced to correct him.

Lecturer Vandy: Excuse me gentlemen, But you CAN'T possibly tell me that you know about throwing mastries? If you wish to fail the end of year exams, feel free to go play your 'sports'
*everyone in the class laughs at us for not being computer geeks*
Loochi: Fuck that shit, we ain't stayin and listenin to this boring shit.
Lecturer Vandy: People! These two gentlemen are n00bzors, they don't know anything about the game.
Loochi: Heh.. Noob? Make game cunt. I bet I'd whip your ass in a duel.
Lecturer Vandy: Alright. Game is Ipwn / u2noobs

About now we both get on a comp and half the class is cheerin me on and shit, Never had a fan base like this. But the other half of the class was suckin up to the lecturer tryina score brownie points. Pussy ass faggots probably never been laid or some shit.

I set my controls to the keys I use most.
F1 for leap attack
F2 for grim ward and
F3 for identify tome. (Incase an item dropped in the moore while we're tearing shit up)

We both step out side and I got a good leap on him, took about 1/4 of his life, faggot shouttin out loud to the class that I use hacks to deal this amount of damage to his throw barb. I run around him while he throws his tiny pathetic axes, runnin like lite speed dodgin the throws and leaping on his head. Before I could kill him, he switches to a bow that gave a paladin aura which made him run fast. I knew he had to hack. I see him running to the bridge. I had to find a way to stop him from runnin so fast and own this punk

Lecturer Vandy: YOU LOSE I WIN. GTFO MY LECTURE YOU NOOB. DON'T EVER STEP FOOT IN THIS CAMPUS AGAIN.
Loochi: Not while you're still outside the encampment you old saka shit !
Lecturer Vandy: YOU JUST POTTED.
Loochi: The correct term for a potion is strawberry gatorade son, get your notes prepared for class N)

People laughin and shit about the way I was owning him verbally and computerly

Class is jumpin and hollerin and startin fire over this duel. Lecturer was going insane at the fact the student owning the teacher. Musta took him about 12 years to get his PhD while it only took 6 months of playing the game to get real good. I did a dramatic leap attack, musta did about 8 yards on the screen or some shit. Hit him with my critial strike and pwned him. About now lecturer is hyper ventalating and repeating the words 'hacker' before he collapsed and had a cardiac arrest. Me and Giant-J were pointing and laughin at his old ass. Rolled up a blunt and lit it up. Forgot to close my account.

Think it will be ok?